Introduction
Before getting into the meaning of Proverbs 14:10, here’s different Bible translations:
King James Version
The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.
American Standard Version
The heart knoweth its own bitterness; And a stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy.
World English Bible version
The heart knows its own bitterness and joy; he will not share these with a stranger.
Proverbs 14:10 Meaning & Commentary
The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy. Proverbs 14:10 (ESV)
The heart is a very personal and unique thing to each person. This verse speaks to that reality – the heart (or the person) knows its own bitterness. Likewise, no stranger (or other people) can fully share in its joy. For example, if someone goes through a negative or traumatizing experience, no amount of trying to “explain” the feelings to anyone else will be adequate. This is why people sometimes say, “there are no words,” or “I can’t explain what I am feeling.”
In reality, words are inadequate when trying to explain feelings or emotions. As a believer, we are commanded to love one another and not harbor any bitterness or unforgiveness in our heart – but are commanded to walk in love: Ephesians 5:2 – And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
This is also important in the context of Proverbs 14:10 because it shows us that we will know if we have bitterness in our hearts. We cannot, therefore, argue that we never knew we had bitterness or even unforgiveness in our hearts. Bitterness and unforgiveness are very closely linked together, and a bitter person could have unforgiveness in their heart. Bitterness is something that can also affect and “rub off” on other people:
Hebrews 12:15 – See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.
In the same manner, joy cannot be fully “explained” to someone – it is experienced and resides in the heart of the person themselves. Joy is a fruit of The Holy Spirit in our lives: Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Application
How can we practically apply Proverbs 14:10 to our lives?
Through Proverbs 14:10, The Bible teaches us that emotions are personal and reside in the heart of each person. However, we find an interesting commandment in The New Testament about how we are to respond to other people and their emotional states:
Romans 12:15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. When we encounter people who may be mourning or rejoicing, we are commanded to rejoice or mourn with them, even if we do not “feel it.” This goes against our logical reasoning, which tells us to go with our feelings or “follow your heart,” as people sometimes say.
However, The Bible tells us that our heart can be evil and deceitful: Jeremiah 17:9 – The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? The Bible never commands us to follow our heart or feelings; instead, we are to be led by The Spirit of God and obey God’s Word and His principles. This means that whatever feelings or emotions we are experiencing – these should never be our guide or our compass in life. If someone bitter had to “follow their heart,” they would likely make bad choices or decisions. Likewise, if we experience joy in our lives, this should be a feeling we recognize and enjoy – but not necessarily follow or be led by.
We should never look down on another person’s emotions, as we may not fully understand why they may be joyful or why they might be bitter or mourning. Instead, we are to obey The Bible’s command to “Rejoice with those who rejoice” and “weep with those who weep.” Also, if someone is bitter or struggling in life, we have a responsibility as Christians to come alongside them and help them bear their burden or struggle: Galatians 6:2 – Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. When we do this, we love other people, as Jesus commanded us, and fulfill “the law of Christ”!
Prayer
Mighty God, thank You for the wisdom in Your Word. Help me love each person that comes across my path. I thank you that Your love has been shed abroad in my heart – help me extend this love to others so that I can represent your heart to others.
Help me to recognize my emotions, but not be led by them, but rather be led by Your Word and Your Spirit. I pray this now in Jesus’s name. Amen!
