Introduction
Before getting into the meaning of Proverbs 12:4, here’s different Bible translations:
King James Version
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
American Standard Version
A worthy woman is the crown of her husband; But she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
World English Bible version
A worthy woman is the crown of her husband, but a disgraceful wife is as rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4 Meaning & Commentary
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4 (ESV)
A crown is something you wear with pride, and “show off” to others. The Bible equates an excellent wife to a crown that a husband wears. The word “excellent” used here is the Hebrew word “Chayil.” This word means strength, efficiency, wealth, army. A large portion of Proverbs 31 is dedicated to an excellent wife.
The Bible says that she is far more precious than jewels: Proverbs 31:10-11 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. The Bible also tells us that a prudent wife is from The Lord: Proverbs 19:14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. The word “prudent” used here is the Hebrew word “Sakal,” which means to be prudent, be circumspect, wisely understand, prosper.
We can see why an excellent wife would be equated to a crown. She makes her husband proud; she is understanding, circumspect, and efficient in what she does. She has great strength inside of her.
Not all are these excellent character qualities, but women by nature are beautiful and meek in their appearance, and a woman who matches that with inner beauty is a sight to behold. So much so that any husband would want to show her off, just like a crown! However, a woman who brings shame is like rottenness. No man would like to be shamed by anyone, let alone his wife!
One of the greatest needs of a man is respect. This is why Paul the Apostle encouraged wives to respect their husbands as a priority: Ephesians 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Application
How can we practically apply Proverbs 12:4 to our lives?
There are practical applications here for both husbands and wives and males and females, even unmarried. Firstly, as a husband – If you have an excellent wife, rejoice and don’t be afraid to “show her off.” In the same manner that an athlete may show off a crown that he has won, be proud of your wife and honor her in all respects. If she is not quite the wife you desire yet, do not despair! The way you live your life and lead your home has a profound impact on whom your wife becomes: Ephesians 5:25-28 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. By your conduct, and loving your wife as Christ loves the Church, you can present your wife to yourself as the one you can be proud of.
For married women, always respect your husbands, even if he does not deserve it. Your conduct, as the wife can win your husband over and turn his heart towards God: 1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
As for unmarried folks, do not rush to find a spouse, but rather be circumspect and seek God in doing so. As you do that, he will give you a spouse you cherish and respect!
Prayer
Mighty God, I thank you right now in the name of Jesus for the beauty of marriage. I desire to be a good spouse to my partner in every respect. Help me to see the value and the beauty in others, even what it is hard.
I pray and ask that I would be a good spouse myself, and in doing so, I will receive back what I need as well. I pray and ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen!
